Despite confidently declaring that Brentford would trounce Yeovil Town in the League One Play-off Final and that Yeovil fans could 'climb back into that stinking pit they call home' (his words, not mine) Simon was brought back down to the Earth with a bump. Brentford did not succeed and this has finally tipped him over the edge. He pulled up outside the studio in a red Ferrari 308 GTS, dressed in a ludicrous Hawaiian shirt and with a new, thick mustache (which upon closer inspection was revealed to be a heavily-drugged ferret).
"Errr.... hi Simon." Danny muttered when presented with this new style which, even for the usually ostentatious and florid Simon, was rather garish.
"I don't know who this Simon is, for I am Magnet PI!" Simon retorted, pointing his finger to the sky.
"I'm pretty sure it's Magnum
PI, Simon. And why are you talking like a Victorian gentleman?" I asked, still bemused by the whole thing.
"How dare you, sir?!" he said, visibly angered at the affront. He whipped out a silk glove from behind his face-ferret and struck me across the face. "I challenge you to a duel!"
We never got around to dueling, as Danny had been quietly having Simon sectioned under the Mental Health Act. We wish him well in this trying time. I blame Uwe Rösler.
Ok, that was a lie, but Simon was in the studio to discuss the UK box office and discuss his pick of the best films on TV for the coming week.
in Real Life